Ignorance is Bliss

3The worst knowledge is about yourself. All the make up and forced smiles dont change how you feel about yourself. Playing the "What If" game is always lose/lose.

No magic eraser.

Anxious and nervous. Stress leads to health problems.  Health problems increase stress level. Worrying about the "what if's" and "how come's" of life only gets you an aneurysm. Nevertheless, I am apprehensive about my new chapter.

Moving on is difficult, especially when the "past" is a new text message in your Ultimate Inbox. When their words are permanent marker, throw the next two pages away. Words always bleed in to the next page. 

Life breaks the rules and slams your head with a metal chair. But still an optimist.

Cause for such feelings?

Letting go is hard. Making up my mind. SO I am moving on and learning. Looking forward. On to a new one.  No hard feelings. Stifle. Oppress. Learn. Defend. Forget even, and then look back and laugh. Everyday is easier.

Is it? 

Chances to do things differently are scarce.  Weaknesses and shortcomings seem to be in abundance. Looking for the good in people is not the same as making excuses for the ones who don't deserve it.  Unwarranted chances. FCP. I bust the windows out your car.

Great End to a Great Summer!

unsure June

Great July

scary August

exhausting September.

Way way Nay nay

Seemingly, the threats cease. Shakwanaynay is in stalker mode. Coming towards all hardcore and brutal, but nevertheless incorrect. Not taking the time to talk the nword of interest. Everything so crucial, deep, and piercing. I beg to differ, if you would just let it go. Pre-June, simple.

If I ever become intimidated, its on me. The problems I accrue are my own. My mistakes. Personal setbacks. Restricted numbers are evil.

Frontin, I know what you want. 

Change

Dang, how people just come and go so quickly. When does it hurt the most? When its unexpected or when you had that feeling although not anticipating the disappointment. Either way, it make you sick to your stomach. You just want them to come back and make that change. Go back in time. Its the dang dam. Older ladies gossiping, wondering if they really mean/wish well. People dropping like flies. Couldn't even stand it. Dirty mirrors, but I can see myself clearly in it.

Past

The recent weeks have been very memorable. trying. hardcore.  

Ups and Downs. Lost my mind on 42nd St.  

With the coming and passing of July and August, I suddenly feel old. Need to relax.

 But too young to stop or slow. 

I officially hate/love Shrek 3 and Transformers. 

Blue and Yellow.

 Tapout and UFC. 

You cant continue to blame your appearance of ashiness on powder. Some problems are exclusively, yours. There is a distinct difference, especially between your pointing finger and thumb. Everything is black. 

Can you smell the darkness taking over? 

So much to do, and not enough money to buy the time. 

Stalkers and women who have known nothing aside from confrontation and violence.

 Childish games and the pursuit of further drama. 

The reconciliation of old and still older acquaintances. 

The effort put forth to show others whats really important. But what really matters? Is it the one you claim to be so important? Or just the way you feel knowing you can have an effect on the next person (be it negative or positive)? 

August is almost over. Hopefully the problems and pressures of dusty August will go with it. Keep your family and real friends, don't worry about everyone else. Don't let drama come between family.

Time passes everyone up.

Go listen to the new Nas album.

hello