Perspective. Change the way you think about things. Do not worry about things you cannot control. Focusing on my attitude towards the issue, instead of the issue itself. Never obsess. This is One of my hardest lessons. Be positive, but not naive. Words can disappear in the wind. They don't carry much weight.
I talked to my father a few weeks ago, and found out a lot. Most of the conversation was hard to hear, then it turned into a deep-seeded fear. Although all the info was not relevant for us now. I had trouble sleeping, tossed and turned. Saw my father (and family) in a totally different light. The hate I had for a certain person was unnecessary. All my feelings rushed back into me, and then finally I had a sense of relief. I didn't have to suffer with that overwhelming bitterness haunting me for the past 9 years. Big sigh..